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Book Title: The Leader in You|
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The author of the book: Dale Carnegie
Edition: Simon & Schuster Audio
Date of issue: January 2nd 1994
ISBN 13: 9780671880118
Format files: PDF
The size of the: 599 KB
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Chapter 1: Finding the Leader in You
Charles Schwab was paid a salary of a million dollars a year in the steel business, and he told me that he was paid this huge salary largely because of his ability to handle people. Imagine that! A million dollars a year because he was able to handle people! One day at noontime, Schwab was walking through one of his steel mills when he came across a group of men smoking directly under a sign that said No Smoking.
Do you suppose that Charles Schwab pointed at the sign and said, "Can't you read?"
Absolutely not, not that master of human relations.
Mr. Schwab chatted with the men in a friendly way and never said a word about the fact that they were smoking under a No Smoking sign.
Finally he handed them some cigars and said with a twinkle in his eye, "I'd appreciate it, boys, if you'd smoke these outside."
That is all he said. Those men knew that he knew that they had broken a rule, and they admired him because he hadn't called them down. He had been such a good sport with them that they in turn wanted to be good sports with him.
The first step toward success is identifying your own leadership strengths.
Chapter 2: Starting to Communicate
Theodore Roosevelt's children adored him, and they had good reason to. An old friend came to Roosevelt one day in distress. His young son had left home and gone to live with his aunt. The boy was wild. He was this and he was that. And the father claimed that no one could get along with him.
Roosevelt said, "Nonsense. I don't believe there's a thing wrong with the boy. But if a boy with spirit can't get the right sort of treatment at home, he'll go some place else to get it."
Several days later Roosevelt saw the boy and said, "What's all this I hear about your leaving home?"
"Well, Colonel," said the boy, "every time I go to Dad he explodes. He's never given me a chance to tell my story. I'm always wrong. I'm always to blame."
"You know, son," said Roosevelt, "you may not believe it now, but your father is your best friend. You are more to him than all the rest of the world."
"That may be, Colonel Roosevelt," the boy said, "but I do wish he'd take some other way of showing it."
Then Roosevelt sent for the father, and he began to tell the father a few shocking truths. The father exploded just the way the boy described. "See here," said Roosevelt. "If you talk to your boy the way you've just been talking to me, I don't wonder he left home. I only marvel that he didn't do it before. Now you go and get acquainted with him. Meet him halfway."
Here are the first steps to successful communication:
1) Make communication a top priority.
2) Be open to other people.
3) Create a receptive environment for communication.
Communication is built on trusting relationships.
Chapter 3: Motivating People
Even as a boy Andrew Carnegie discovered the astonishing importance that people place on their names. When he was ten years old, he had a father rabbit and a mother rabbit. He awoke one morning to discover that he had a whole nest full of little rabbits and nothing to feed them.
What do you suppose he did? Well, he had a brilliant idea. He told half a dozen boys in the neighborhood that if they would go out every day and pull enough dandelions and grass and clover to feed the rabbits, he would name the rabbits in their honor. The plan worked like magic, and here is the point of the story.
Andrew Carnegie never forgot that incident. And years later, he made millions of dollars by using the same technique in business. He wanted to sell steel rails to the Pennsylvania Railroad. J. Edgar Thomson was president of the railroad then. So Andrew Carnegie, remembering the lesson he had learned from his rabbits, built a huge steel mill in Pittsburg and called it the J. Edgar Thomson Steel works.
Now let me ask you a question. When the Pennsylvania Railroad needed steel rails after that, where do you suppose J. Edgar Thomson bought them?
1) Employees must be included in all parts of the process, every step of the way. Teamwork is the key here, not heirarchy.
2) People must be treated as individuals. Always acknowledge their importance and show them respect. They're people first, employees second.
3) Superior work must be encouraged, recognized, and rewarded. Everyone responds to expectations. If you treat people as if they are capable and smart - and get out of the way - that's exactly how they'll perform.
Motivation can never be forced. People have to want to do a good job.
Chapter 4: Expressing Genuine Interest in Others
Why read this book? Why not study the technique of the greatest winner of friends the world has ever known? Who is he? You may meet him tomorrow coming down the street. When you get within ten feet of him, he will begin to wag his tail. If you stop and pat him, he will almost jump out of his skin to show you how much he likes you. And you know that behind this show of affection on his part, there are no ulterior motives. He doesn't want to sell you any real estate, and he doesn't want to marry you.
Did you ever stop to think that a dog is the only animal that doesn't have to work for a living? A hen has to lay eggs. A cow has to give milk, and a canary has to sing. But a dog makes his living by giving out nothing but love.
You can make more friends in two months by becoming genuinely interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get others interested in you.
Yet I know and you know people who blunder through life trying to badger other people into becoming interested in them. Of course, it doesn't work. People are not interested in you. They are not interested in me. They are interested in themselves - morning, noon, and after dinner.
There's nothing more effective and rewarding than showing a genuine interest in other people.
Chapter 5: Seeing Things from the Other Person's Point of View
I wanted a private secretary last year, and I put an ad in the paper under a box number. I bet I got three hundred replies. Almost all of them began something like this: "This is in reply to your ad in Sunday's Times under Box 299. I wish to apply for the position you offer. I am twenty-six years old, etc...."
But one woman was smart. She didn't talk about what she wanted. She talked about what I wanted. Her letter read like this: "Dear Sir: You will probably get two or three hundred letters in reply to your ad. You are a busy man. You haven't time to read all of them. So if you will just reach for your telephone right now and call Vanderbilt 3-9512," or whatever it was, "I'll be glad to come over and open the letters and throw the worthless ones in the wastebasket and place the others on your desk for your attention. I have fifteen years experience..."
She then went on to tell about the important men she had worked for. The moment I got that letter, I felt like dancing on the table. I immediately picked up the phone and told her to come over, but I was too late. Some other employer had grabbed her. A woman like that has the business world at her feet.
Step outside yourself to discover what's important to someone else.
Chapter 6: Listening to Learn
I met a distinguished botanist at a dinner party given by a New York book publisher. I had never talked with a botanist before, and I found him fascinating. I literally sat on the edge of my chair and listened while he spoke of exotic plants and experiments in developing new forms of plant life and indoor gardens. I had a small indoor garden of my own, and he was good enough to tell me how to solve some of my problems.
As I said, we were at a dinner party. There must have been a dozen other guests. But I violated all the canons of courtesy, ignored everyone else and talked for hours to the botanist.
Midnight came. I said good night to everyone and departed. The botanist then turned to our host and paid me several flattering compliments. I was most stimulating, he said. I was this, and I was that. And he ended by saying I was a most interesting conversationalist.
An interesting conversationalist?
I had said hardly anything at all. I couldn't have said anything if I had wanted to without changing the subject, for I don't know any more about botany that I do about the anatomy of a penguin. But I had done this: I had listened intently. I had listened because I was genuinely interested. And he felt it. Naturally, that pleased him. That kind of listening is one of the highest compliments we can pay anyone. And so I had him thinking of me as a good conversationalist when in reality I had been merely a good listener and had encouraged him to talk.
Nobody is more persuasive than a good listener.
Chapter 7: Teaming up for Tomorrow
Adolph Seltz of Philadelphia, a salesman in an automobile showroom and a student in one of my courses, suddenly found himself confronted with the necessity of injecting enthusiasm into a discouraged and disorganized group of automobile salespeople. Calling a sales meeting, he urged his people to tell him exactly what they expected of him. As they talked, he wrote their ideas on the blackboard. Then he said, "I'll give you all these qualities you expect from me. Now I want you to tell me what I have a right to expect from you."
The replies came fast: "Loyalty. Honesty. Initiative. Optimism. Team work. Eight hours a day of enthusiastic work."
The meeting ended with a new courage, a new inspiration - one salesperson volunteered to work fourteen hours a day - and Mr. Seltz reported to me that the increase in sales was phenominal.
"The people had made a sort of moral bargain with me," said Seltz, "and as long as I lived up to my part of the bargain, they were determined to live up to theirs. Consulting them about their wishes and desires was just the shot in the arm they needed."
Team players are the leaders of tomorrow.
Chapter 8: Respecting the Dignity of Others
The Chrysler organization built a special car for Franklin Delano Roosevelt, who could not use a standard car because his legs were paralyzed. W. F. Chamberlain and a mechanic delivered it to the White House. I have in front of me a letter from Mr. Chamberlain relating his experiences.
"I taught President Roosevelt how to handle a car with a lot of unusual gadgets, but he taught me a lot about the fine art of handling people. When I called at the White House," Mr. Chamberlain writes, "the president was extremely pleasant and cheerful. He called me by name, made me feel very comfortable, and particularly impressed me with the fact that he was vitally interested in things I had to show him and tell him.
"The car was so designed that it could be operated entirely by hand. A crowd gathered around to look at the car, and he remarked 'I think it is marvelous. ALl you have to do is to touch a button, and it moves away, and you can drive it without effort. I think it's grand. I don't know what makes it go. I'd love to have time to tear it down and see how it works.'
"When Roosevelt's friends and associates admired the machine, he said in their presence, 'Mr. Chamberlain, I certainly appreciate all the time and effort you have spent in developing this car. It is a mighty fine job.' He admired the radiator, the special rear-vision mirror and clock, the special spotlight, the kind of upholstery, the sitting position of the driver's seat, the special suitcases in the trunk with his monogram on each suitcase. In other words, he took notice of every detail to which he knew I had given considerable thought. He made a point of bringing these various pieces of equipment to the attention of Mrs. Roosevelt, Miss Perkins, the secretary of labor, and his secretary. He even brought the old White House porter into the picture by saying, 'George, you want to take particularly good care of the suitcases.'
"When the driving lesson was finished, the president turned to me and said, 'Well, Mr. Chamberlain, I've been keeping the Federal Reserve Board waiting thirty minutes. I guess I had better get back to work.'"
Truly respecting others is the bedrock of motivation.
Chapter 9: Recognition, Praise, and Rewards
In the early nineteenth century, a young man in London aspired to be a writer. But everything seemed to be against him. He had never been able to attend school more than four years. His father had been thrown in jail because he couldn't pay his debts, and this young man often knew the pangs of hunger. Finally he got a job pasting labels on bottles in a rat-infested warehouse, and he slept at night in a dismal attic room with two other boys - guttersnipes from the slums of London. He had so little confidence in his ability to write that he sneaked out and mailed his first manuscript in the dead of night so nobody would laugh at him. Story after story was refused. Finally the great day came when one was accepted. True, he wasn't paid for it, but one editor had praised him. One editor had given him recognition. He was so thrilled that he wandered aimlessly around the streets with tears rolling down his cheeks.
The praise, the recognition that he received through getting one story in print changed his whole life. If it hadn't been for that encouragement, he might have spent his entire life working in rat-infested factories. You may have heard of this boy. His name is Charles Dickens.
People work for money but go the extra mile for recognition, praise, and rewards.
Chapter 10: Handling Mistakes, Complaints, and Criticism
Shortly after the close of World War I, I learned an invaluable lesson one night in London. I was attending a banquet given in honor of Sir Ross Smith. During the dinner, the man sitting next to me told a humorous story which hinged on the quotation, "There's a divinity that shapes our ends, rough-hew them how we will."
The raconteur mentioned that the quotation was from the Bible. He was wrong. I knew that. I knew it positively. There couldn't have been the slightest doubt about that. And so, to get a feeling of importance and display my superiority, I appointed myself as an unsolicited and unwelcome committee of one to correct him. He stuck to his guns.
"What?" he thundered at me. "From Shakespeare? Impossible! Absurd!" That quotation was from the Bible, and he knew it with not one scintilla of doubt.
The storyteller was sitting on my right and Frank Gammond, an old friend of mine, was seated at my left. Frank had devoted years to the study of Shakespeare. So the storyteller and I agreed to submit the question to him. Frank listened, kicked me under the table, and then he said, "Dale, you are wrong. The gentleman is right. It is from the Bible."
I couldn't wait to get Frank alone. On our way home that night, I said to him, "Frank, you knew that quotation was from Shakespeare."
"Yes, of course," he replied. "Hamlet, act five, scene two. But Dale, we were guests at a festive occasion. Why prove to a man he is wrong? Is that going to make him like you? Why not let him save his face? He didn't ask for your opinion. He didn't want it. Why argue with him?"
Be quick to admit mistakes and slow to criticize. Above all, be constructive.
Chapter 11: Setting Goals
At age twenty-three I was one of the unhappiest young men in New York. I was selling motor trucks for a living. I didn't know what made a motor truck run. That wasn't all: I didn't want to know. I despised my job. I despised living in a cheap furnished room on West Fifty-sixth Street - a room infested with cockroaches. I still remember I had a bunch of neckties hanging on the walls, and when I reached out every morning to get a fresh necktie, the cockroaches scattered in all directions. I despised having to eat in cheap, dirty restaurants that were also probably infested with cockroaches.
I came home to my lonely room each night with a sick headache - a headache bred and fed by disappointment, worry, bitterness, and rebellion. I was rebelling because the dreams I had nourished back in my college days had turned into nightmares. Was this life? Was this the vital adventure to which I had looked forward so eagerly? Was this all life would ever mean to me - working at a job I despised and with no hope for the future? I longed for leisure to read. I longed to write the books I had dreamed of writing back in my college days.
I knew I had everything to gain and nothing to lose by giving up the job I despised. I wasn't interested in making a lot of money, but I was interested in making a lot of living. In short, I had come to the Rubicon - to that moment of decision which faces most young people when they set out in life. So I made my decision, and that decision has completely altered my future. It has made the rest of my life happy and rewarding beyond my most utopian aspiration.
My decision was this: I would give up the work I loathed, and since I had spent four years studying in the State Teachers College at Warrensburg, Missouri, preparing to teach, I would make my living teaching adult classes in night schools. Then I would have my days free to read books, prepare lectures, write novels and short stories. I wanted "to live to write and write to live."
Set goals that are clear, challenging, and obtainable.
Chapter 12: Focus and Discipline
Back in 1933, David Burpee, famous seed man of Philadelphia, got the idea that the plain, everyday stepchild of flowers could be made very beautiful and attractive. That stepchild was the marigold, a forlorn but little waif with a most unfortunate trait: an unpleasant odor.
So David Burpee set out to develop a marigold that would titillate instead of shock the nostrils. He knew there was just one way to do this, and that was to find what botanists call a mutation, an individual flower, which by accident, doesn't have this unpleasant odor. So he sent all over the world for marigold seed and got 640 separate cultures. He planted them and when they grew and blossomed, he pushed his nose against them and sniffed. Every single one had a bad odor. Pretty discouraging, but he kept searching, and finally a missionary in far-off Tibet sent him some seed of a marigold that was odorless but had a scrawny flower.
David Burpee crossed this with one of his large varieties and planted thirty-five acres. When they were up and going strong, he called his foreman and gave an order that made the foreman think that David Burpee had gone crazy. He told his foreman to get down on his hands and knewws and smell every plant in the thirty-five acres. If just one odorless plant with large flowers could be found, that would be all that was needed. "It would take me thirty-five years to smell them all," said the foreman. So the employment agencies in that section were called upon to be given an order like they had never before received, an order for two hundred flower smellers.
These flower smellers came from everywhere and started to work. No one ever saw a crazier sight, but Dave Burpee knew what he was doing. At last, one day, one of the flower smellers came loping across the field to the foreman.
"I've got it," he shouted. The foreman followed him to the place where the smeller had stuck down a peg. Sure enough, there wasn't a hint of an unpleasant odor.
Leaders never lose their focus. They keep their eyes on the big picture.
Chapter 13: Achieving Balance
Consistently high performance comes from a balance between work and leisure.
Chapter 14: Creating a Positive Mental Attitude
Gain strength from the positive and don't be sapped by the negative.
Chapter 15: Learning Not to Worry
Tame your worries and energize your life.
Chapter 16: The Power of Enthusiasm
Never underestimate the power of enthusiasm.
Chapter 17: Conclusion: Making it Happen
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Read information about the authorDale Breckenridge Carnegie (originally Carnagey until 1922 and possibly somewhat later) (November 24, 1888 – November 1, 1955) was an American writer and lecturer and the developer of famous courses in self-improvement, salesmanship, corporate training, public speaking and interpersonal skills. Born in poverty on a farm in Missouri, he was the author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, first published in 1936, a massive bestseller that remains popular today. He also wrote a biography of Abraham Lincoln, titled Lincoln the Unknown, as well as several other books.
Carnegie was an early proponent of what is now called responsibility assumption, although this only appears minutely in his written work. One of the core ideas in his books is that it is possible to change other people's behavior by changing one's reaction to them.
Born in 1888 in Maryville, Missouri, Carnegie was a poor farmer's boy, the second son of James William Carnagey and wife Amanda Elizabeth Harbison (b. Missouri, February 1858 – living 1910). In his teens, though still having to get up at 4 a.m. every day to milk his parents' cows, he managed to get educated at the State Teacher's College in Warrensburg. His first job after college was selling correspondence courses to ranchers; then he moved on to selling bacon, soap and lard for Armour & Company. He was successful to the point of making his sales territory of South Omaha, Nebraska the national leader for the firm.
After saving $500, Carnegie quit sales in 1911 in order to pursue a lifelong dream of becoming a Chautauqua lecturer. He ended up instead attending the American Academy of Dramatic Arts in New York, but found little success as an actor, though it is written that he played the role of Dr. Hartley in a road show of Polly of the Circus. When the production ended, he returned to New York, unemployed, nearly broke, and living at the YMCA on 125th Street. It was there that he got the idea to teach public speaking, and he persuaded the "Y" manager to allow him to instruct a class in return for 80% of the net proceeds. In his first session, he had run out of material; improvising, he suggested that students speak about "something that made them angry", and discovered that the technique made speakers unafraid to address a public audience. From this 1912 debut, the Dale Carnegie Course evolved. Carnegie had tapped into the average American's desire to have more self-confidence, and by 1914, he was earning $500 - the equivalent of nearly $10,000 now - every week.
Perhaps one of Carnegie’s most successful marketing moves was to change the spelling of his last name from “Carnegey” to Carnegie, at a time when Andrew Carnegie (unrelated) was a widely revered and recognized name. By 1916, Dale was able to rent Carnegie Hall itself for a lecture to a packed house. Carnegie's first collection of his writings was Public Speaking: a Practical Course for Business Men (1926), later entitled Public Speaking and Influencing Men in Business (1932). His crowning achievement, however, was when Simon & Schuster published How to Win Friends and Influence People. The book was a bestseller from its debut in 1937, in its 17th printing within a few months. By the time of Carnegie's death, the book had sold five million copies in 31 languages, and there had been 450,000 graduates of his Dale Carnegie Institute. It has been stated in the book that he had critiqued over 150,000 speeches in his participation of the adult education movement of the time. During World War I he served in the U.S. Army.
His first marriage ended in divorce in 1931. On November 5, 1944, in Tulsa, Oklahoma, he married Dorothy Price Vanderpool, who also had been divorced. Vanderpool had two daughters; Rosemary, from her first marriage, and Donna Dale from their marriage together.
Carnegie died at Forest Hills, New York, and was buried in the Belton, Cass County, Missouri cemetery. The official biography fro
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